Well, my dear arachnid, maybe if I didn’t catch you traipsing about my home like a squatter, I wouldn’t have had to make the assassination attempt.
Good day.
Dear Good Sir,
Thank you for demonstrating why you should have been given the lead role in the Nutcracker.
Upon further review, it has come to my attention that you need to work on your stage presence; facial expressions can conjure a variety of different reactions from your audience.
Try smiling next time; that face makes it look like you split your gooch.
Sincerely,
Yours Truly,
Lord Baron Monocle
