Well, my dear arachnid, maybe if I didn’t catch you traipsing about my home like a squatter, I wouldn’t have had to make the assassination attempt.

Good day.

Dear Good Sir,

Thank you for demonstrating why you should have been given the lead role in the Nutcracker.

Upon further review, it has come to my attention that you need to work on your stage presence; facial expressions can conjure a variety of different reactions from your audience.

Try smiling next time; that face makes it look like you split your gooch.

Sincerely,

Yours Truly,

Lord Baron Monocle

Yes

Dear Johnny Depp, is this what you look like without the make up?

Sincerely, Yours Truly, Lord Baron Monocle

Meet Lord Baron Fluffykins, III. He is my cat and my best friend.

wilwheaton:

This is reblogged from Neil Gaiman. I can’t do a native reblog because it was a question post, so I’m reformatting it here to make it easier for all of us to spread this around and effect a change:

www[.]change[.]org/petitions/dr-jeannette-m-council-drop-the-72-hour-kill-proposal north…

nikkilynnh86:

1. Quests: Questing is one of my favorite things to do… While doing quests, you can discover new places, loot items, and harvest alchemy ingredients. By completing quests for Jarls, you could even gain status in cities as a thane. People respect you. People in real life are mean and miserable and…

What a delightfully hilarious chap.

Lady Sylvia Vonschmidt believes she’s an artist… This is a terrible rendition of me! Hmpf.